Thursday 31 August 2017

The Michelin Walk

Today, I was supposed to be back with Up in the Cheap Seats, for Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, at the Apollo (although booking is with the Young Vic), with Sienna MillerColm Meaney, and nudity. Cheapest tickets this time were with LoveTheatre. And then, London Literary Walks advertised one. So, instead, off I went on The Michelin Walk. Someone else took my play ticket though, and in return, treated me to dinner - the plan was to go to Pizza Express. It'd be great to catch up with her!

Would you believe it, by 5:30 on a Wednesday, Pizza Express was full! So, she waited outside in the rain for me - she'd thought she'd be late, so I left the office a little late. Just as well she had an umbrella. We had no definite ideas about an alternative, and right there was Pizza Toscana.. with plenty of room! So we went in and got ourselves a table.

Service was decent. Decor nice enough - temperature a little hot, especially as the pre-theatre crowd filled the place. We were lucky to beat them! Or.. maybe not. We only had main courses and wine (wise, as we only really had time for those) - I'll say this much, the sauvignon blanc was lovely. The food was pretty uniformly awful. How this happened, I'm kind of baffled to say - perhaps they only do pizza and pasta well, and it was just our misfortune to order something different? She had salmon, I had chicken. Not that it was easy to find, on the enormous menu we were given, Italian names more prominent so you really had to search for what you wanted. And we had rosemary potatoes as a side.

Oh dear God. Well, the chicken was a little bit chewy, but decent mostly - I did give up on it in the end. The sauce it was in was tasty enough, to be fair. It was served on a plate with a huge puddle of mash - puddle the right description, I've never seen mash so watery. Literally dripped off the fork. Oh, and that was absolutely tasteless. I was glad I'd ordered more substantial-looking rosemary potatoes.. glad, that is, until I took a bite. Bland, dry, and lukewarm. Despite being served in a dish that was shaped like a miniature wok - no way had these been served straight from the oven. Actually, none of the food was what you might call piping hot. My companion wasn't keen on her salmon either. She flummoxed the kitchen by asking for some kind of sauce to go with her potatoes - they were confused, given that these were supposed to be flavoured with rosemary (hah!). Gave her a big bowl of mustard and some olive oil. I suppose the olive oil was a good idea.

Truly, although the company was good, this was the worst meal I've endured for a very long time, and to say I won't be back is an understatement. How they stay in business, serving slop like this, is a testament to the pigswill that tourists will endure on their way to whatever else they're doing (in this case, attending one of the many nearby theatres). No wonder Pizza Express was full.. the quality is more reliable there!

Well, we left with some relief, and queued to get into the theatre. I needed to pick up the ticket at the box office, which I would then give to her, and I did think it ironic that I had to undergo a bag check when I'd be coming right out again. What the hey, needs must, and the deed was duly done. It was pretty tricky, squeezing my way back through the same queue! Now, I decided I'd have time to take the bus - and the stop was just across the road. Ah heavens though, I thought the #14 would never come, as no fewer than three #38s passed! (Sadly, they just wouldn't do.) I was on the point of taking the Tube when the bus finally arrived, a few minutes late.

So, that was ok then. Until we hit traffic like treacle at Hyde Park Corner. And then it occurred to me that we still had to pass through the black hole of Knightsbridge! I was beginning to think I'd made a big mistake. After our slow progress through Knightsbridge, I was seriously considering hopping out and taking the Tube anyway - but the stop is so far past the Tube station that I reasoned I'd be no faster - I had only three more stops on the bus. And only about five minutes to go till the scheduled time of the walk.. Mercifully, traffic eased right after that, and I was amazed to see, as we approached South Kensington, that it was only just about 8! And only delighted that the bus route took us right down Thurloe Place, where the Hoop and Toy is, where we were to meet.

The stop is just past the pub, thankfully. I wondered whether they'd left yet - they were supposed to leave at 8 - but decided to check the pub before contacting the organiser. A quick scout outside - no-one I knew. I entered - someone had messaged that they were in the cellar, and I was looking for the way to that when - there they were! Phew, after all that.. so, my visit to the Hoop and Toy was the shortest I've had to a pub in a long time.

Off we went, into a damp South Kensington where, fortunately, it had stopped raining. A statue of Béla Bartók to start - standing on some leaves, for some reason. Maybe he was a nature lover. Through rows of white, colonnaded houses then - as I remarked to a couple of people, I never lived here precisely, but not so far away - and I was often here, mainly for the Ciné Lumière, part of the Institut Français. The Michelin of the title made its appearance in due course - an old Michelin factory, now a restaurant. And still with those gorgeous ceramic tiles, showing off the company's products.





Did you know that rubber's natural colour is white? or that the Michelin Man is supposed to be made up of (white) tyres? They added carbon for durability, it seems, which gives tyres their modern, distinctively black colour. A guide with an insatiable curiosity means we always have a heap of facts like these, and he was full of tidbits last night, commenting on building styles and famous folks.

And then on, past expensive shops, and a couple of art galleries:


Ringo Starr's house, in a quiet enclave down a dark alley. A couple of churches followed - one a hotchpotch of Gothic, the other the first Catholic church since the reformation, with Madame Tussaud buried in the crypt! Who wouldha' thunk..?

At the end of another fascinating evening, some of us repaired to the Fox & Hounds - much less busy than the last time we were here, and we managed to grab a comfy space inside the door. A good chat to finish off what was a great evening. Pity I'm missing the next one, on Wednesday - see below.

Tonight, back with London Speaks Sessions and LDN Talks @ Night, for a Funzing talk. This time, the talk is entitled "Can You Trust the Media?", and is given by Annie Machon, who gave an interesting talk last month on Russian Hacking. Another 30% discount. I just wish she'd use some visual aids.. At the Lighthouse again, terrific. :-/ Then I'm back to Ireland for the weekend again.

On Monday, I'm finally going to see Dreamgirls, at the Savoy, courtesy of Amazon Tickets.

On Tuesday, I was back with the Scarlet Ladies for a talk on Generation Sex. Until Let's Do This advertised a concert that sounds really good.. at the Apples & Pears Bar. Hey, I do allow myself to change if something sounds better.. and as I say, the Scarlet Ladies are not my kind of ladies.

On Wednesday, I'm with another new group - North London Friends - for an interview with Michael Palin, at the Knowledge Centre Theatre at the British Library. I was really torn, though - the London European Club is off to an early music concert the same night, and I do love that - but had already booked this, and it is Michael Palin. Hey-ho..

Next Thursday, I was back with North London Friends, and another talk on Fake News - different speaker, mind! This is the Fulbright Commission annual lecture, at the British Library. However, much more attractively, Let's Do This are reviving what used to be a regular Man with the Hat event - we're off to St. Martin-in-the-Fields, for some Vivaldi concertos. With a discount, yet! London Concertante, as usual.

On the 8th September, until the other day I was still technically booked for free comedy in Hammersmith with DiscoverLDN.UK. But, as I say - good atmosphere, but the comedy is usually pretty bad. I was saved - again - by Up in the Cheap Seats, who are off to see Doubt, a Parable, in Southwark Playhouse. Aww.. it's so long since I was there, and I have so many good memories of it from my time with the Man with the Hat!

On the 9th September, Helen and I have our 25km sponsored walk, in aid of Haslemere's Cat Protection Society. We're going as Dick Whittington and his cat, respectively, and the route is the Thames Bridges Trek. You can donate here.. Must try and pick up some decent walking shoes.

Which will tire me out nicely, just in time for my flight to Prague the next morning! I'm at a conference there, Sunday to Tuesday. (What a nice company I work for!) Gee, but I love Prague - most beautiful city I've ever seen, and I've seen a few. They're putting me up at a nice hotel too, just down the road.

So, I fly back on the 12th September, and on the 13th I'm back with Up in the Cheap Seats, at Sadler's Wells, for the Hofesh Schechter Company grand finale.

On the 14th September, I'm at another talk with Walks, Talks and Treasure Hunts - this one, at Southwark Cathedral, is about the River Effra, South London's Secret Spine. Another free Eventbrite event, this is to publicise a book about the subject, and the talk is again given by the author. Another thing that had no tickets, then it did (no notification)! I'm not going to believe any messages about door closures, like the erroneous one I got before. Then I'm back to Ireland for the weekend again.

On the 18th September, I was off to Showstopper! at the Lyric. Ticket courtesy of From the Box Office again. I have actually seen this before - but, being an improvised musical, it literally is different every time! But you'll never guess - the Crick Crack Club finally announced their autumn schedule last Friday, and now, that night, I'm off to Eaten Father, Eaten Mother by Ben Haggerty. In Soho Theatre, first time in ages.

On the 19th September, back with the Scarlet Ladies, for a talk entitled 100 Women - Their Breasts, Their Stories. Although actually, if I didn't like the other night's, I think I'll hate this - will be looking for alternatives.

On the 20th September, Funzing (same two groups) and Jennifer Rees again - this time, a fun talk about the Psychology of Batman Villains! The first of hers for which I managed to get a 30% discount.. and it's on nice and close to me again. Seems to be a feature of her talks!

On the 21st September, it was free comedy in Hammersmith - with Free Comedy Nights in Hammersmith, Wimbledon and GreenwichRandom London, and DiscoverLDN.UK. But yay, I have my alternative at last! Going to some comedy I have to pay for, which will probably be better. Mae Martin is at Soho Theatre. Advertised by a group called Moxie Ladies.. good luck to them, but as they charge extra, I'm going solo.

And on the 22nd September, the same free comedy - with DiscoverLDN.UK. I rather doubt it though - don't you?

On the 23rd September, I was to do the same, but am now headed to the launch of Rob Luft's new album, Riser, at King's Place. As advertised by The London Jazz Meetup. I finally ended up paying their membership fee after booking an event with them the other day, for November, which someone is attending that I know. So I figured it was wiser!

I had booked the same free comedy, with the same group, on the 24th September, but was again saved - this time, by the World Music Meetup! They're off to see Kefaya, in Nell's Jazz and Blues bar, back in my old stomping ground of North End Road! Happy days, when I was working there..

On the 25th September, a group called Theatre and Stuff is off to see Prism, at Hampstead Theatre. They're charging extra to go with them, though - so I happily bought my own ticket. What the hey, odds are I won't know any of them anyway.

On the 26th September, I'm back with Up in the Cheap Seats - to see Wings, at The Young Vic. Accidentally booked standing, I think.. :-/

On the 27th September, with Up in the Cheap Seats again - for Jekyll & Hyde, presented by the National Youth Theatre, at the Ambassadors Theatre.

On the 28th September, with another new group: London, Surrey and Beyond.. for an event called "A Unique Experience. Olde Pub, Gerry's Private Club, 2 'i's Famous Fish 'n' Chips". Which says it all, really! Then it's back to Ireland for the weekend again.

On the 2nd October, I had booked at Hampstead Theatre, for No One Will Tell Me How to Start a Revolution. North London Friends are attending - and charging extra, so I was going it alone! But now it turns out I'm spending the week in the Stockholm office - back on the 8th.

On the 3rd October, it was free comedy in Hammersmith - nominally. With Free Comedy Nights in Hammersmith, Wimbledon and Greenwich. So, that was easy to cancel, for Stockholm!

On the 4th October was Up in the Cheap Seats and Labour of Love, with Martin Freeman, at the Noel Coward Theatre. Cheapest tickets from the venue, for once!

On the 5th October, same group - headed to see the Company Wayne McGregor, at Sadler's Wells.

And finally! on the 6th October, headed to see Chekhov's The Seagull, at the Lyric. Third night in a row for that group - almost as busy a group as I am a person! So, four things in all I had to cancel, without refund.. what the hey, I'll doubtless be saving money in Stockholm! Expenses paid, after all.

On the 9th October, I'm finally going to see the show so many people have asked me whether I'm seeing. Ink is showing at the Duke of York's Theatre. 

And on the 10th October, I'm back with Up in the Cheap Seats for Ballet Boyz at Sadler's Wells.

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